Motherhood & Things

My brother was about 21 at the time and we were still living in the states.  He had just purchased a pre-owned Cadillac Escalade and trust me, it was sweet!  He would pick me up sometimes and of course I would ride in the front with my chest high.  Jamaican people would say "yuh have pretty car eye" (you love expensive cars).  Proud of my baby brother I was and still am.  On this particular night he and a couple of friends went to a party where he was the designated driver.  On the way back to Philly he dropped a friend off in Chester.  Back then, Chester was not the best area for a Black Man to get stopped.  While waiting at the red light, here comes the officer pulling up behind him.  He took note and made sure he pulled off slowly once the light turned green.  As soon as he was in the intersection, four police cars drew down on him.  Three officers jumped out with guns drawn asking him to exit the vehicle.  That was about 10:00 p.m. Saturday night. Let me stop here and jus

I  think it's safe to say many parents have a hard time having the dreaded "sex talk" with their children or even discussing changes they will face when entering adolescence.  I, on the other hand, made up my mind before I had children that I would talk to them and provide a space for them to ask questions.  In this day and age you can't sugar coat much.  Each generation seems to be growing up faster and becoming more exposed to the adult world at an early age.  With three daughters and one son (the youngest), I have no time to be a timid Mother trying to figure out how to talk to my children about their bodies.  Our conversations started at a very early age.  Being a nurse definitely made and continues to make things easier because I am used to talking about the human body and its various functions in a very clinical way.  I am always mindful however, to take cues from my children in the middle of our conversations to know when I need to switch gears, take a break a

I had a moment with my 10 year old son the other night that was most profound.  It was about 10:30 pm and I was downstairs all alone, taking in the days news.  My son came down to tell me goodnight at the same time the footage of George Floyd's murder flashed across the screen.  I watched him looking at the television and wondered what was going through his mind.  I wondered if the footage and the news that followed registered to him or was he just worried about the next episode of his favourite anime?  Was he disturbed?  Did it scare him?  Was his little mind formulating uncomfortable questions that I had to prepare myself to answer?  Finally he looked at me and asked "Mommy, what were the police thinking?", his shoulders shrugging with that familiar annoyed look on his face when he feels like foolishness is afoot.  I know this look well.  It came across as a rhetorical question however, I responded, "I have absolutely no idea my love, but whatever they were thinkin

   It is important not to become a prisoner of your mistakes.  I have had my share of mistakes and I became withdrawn and even fearful at times to try new things.  Childhood mistakes were met by harsh reprimand and criticism instead of reassuring words and imparted skills in order to understand and learn from those mistakes.  The reproach is what led me to believe that if I didn't achieve perfection, that I was less than in some way.  A failure.  Growing up in a Jamaican household with a strict Mother and impatient father meant mistakes were rarely tolerated.  My brother and I did not have the luxury of two-way discussions when mistakes were made.  With each mistake and each reproach, I became harder on myself than I needed to be.  I became afraid to move beyond my comfort zone and only took on tasks I was sure would lead to success. It was through serious introspection that I realised how many missed opportunities were piling up on my regret list.  The fear of making mistakes (or