I Am Not My Mistakes (Pt. II)

  It is important not to become a prisoner of your mistakes.  I have had my share of mistakes and I became withdrawn and even fearful at times to try new things.  Childhood mistakes were met by harsh reprimand and criticism instead of reassuring words and imparted skills in order to understand and learn from those mistakes.  The reproach is what led me to believe that if I didn't achieve perfection, that I was less than in some way.  A failure.  Growing up in a Jamaican household with a strict Mother and impatient father meant mistakes were rarely tolerated.  My brother and I did not have the luxury of two-way discussions when mistakes were made.  With each mistake and each reproach, I became harder on myself than I needed to be.  I became afraid to move beyond my comfort zone and only took on tasks I was sure would lead to success.

It was through serious introspection that I realised how many missed opportunities were piling up on my regret list.  The fear of making mistakes (or failing) led me to pass on many opportunities.  I began to feel unfulfilled.  It took many years in order to understand the true meaning of what my mistakes meant to me and how I could re-frame those mistakes.  It is important to understand that learning from and learning how to handle your mistakes is an ongoing process.  We have to figure out ways to learn from them.  We have to be able to sit still and find the lessons in our mistakes.  One main thing to take away from your mistakes, is that your mistakes do not define you.  Now if you are making the same mistake over and over again, then that is another post for another day.  

Remember that we do not realise a mistake is a mistake until we see that something else, or something better could have been done.  In the moment of an act, we feel with our whole heart that what we are saying or doing is the right thing at the time.  It is only when that moment is over that we see the effects of our decisions and feel like we could have chosen a different path or response.  Don't forget that none of us can see into the future.  That being said, mistakes are inevitable.  Learn to give yourself a break when you make a mistake.  The only true fault in making a mistake is when we fail to see and understand the lesson and we keep making that same misstep over and over again.