Motherhood & Things

T his year has been unlike no other.  Due to the pandemic, many of us have had to change and adjust to new ways of learning, working and conducting business.  Business owners in particular have had to come up with new means to recreate what they do and how they offer their services.  Pandemic or no pandemic however, how do you as an individual "pivot" when faced with something that you feel is beyond you; something that is not of your particular skill set? This is an issue I have been battling with for sometime now and the realisation of how I fit into this new endeavour is about to be revealed.  I hope.   Let's dive in.  To start, I'm a Nurse (aka....Bad Ass Lifesaver).  I love being a Nurse, everything I approach, I approach as a Nurse.  Put me in the hospital at the bedside on a unit and I am in my zone.  This is where I feel most confident.  This is where I feel fierce.  This is where I feel unstoppable.  My husband on the other hand can be placed anywhere and fe

E very year since moving back home we have either gone to Florida for summer vacation or treated the children to a local hotel staycation for a few days.  This year however my husband and I decided to take some "us" time and chill at the Riu Hotel Ocho Rios.  Initially I worried about going to a hotel during the pandemic, but after watching Blogger and YouTuber Nella ( AsToldByNella  &  Just Nella ) talk about her stay at the Riu, I decided to take the leap.  Besides, with all of the home schooling I had been doing, I needed a little time away from the kids. Courtesy of Motherhood & Things 2020 Sanitize, Sanitizing, Sanitized! Upon entry there were two mats. One soaked with disinfectant which we were kindly asked to use to disinfect the bottom of our shoes.  Then we were directed to a mat to dry our shoes.  Next, temperature check.  There was a large digital thermometer on a stand in front of a 32 inch monitor.  Your temperature was checked and then you were ushered i

L ovely is her name.  She and I have been friends for as long as I can remember.  We are so close we even share the same birthday.  She has been a supportive friend although unfortunately, I can't say I have been as supportive of her in the past.  It still amazes me that we have been in a relationship for so long and it turns out it's been one sided.  What's worse, realising that I was the taker; the only one benefiting in what should have been a reciprocating relationship.  I was the one that caused the imbalance within the boundaries on our friendship.  Lovely and I started out wonderfully.  She was strong, independent and just a gorgeous individual.  She was someone who would bask daily in her full potential.  Because she was always the strong one, I fell into the mode of taking her for granted.  Not paying attention to her needs, because she was always there, always evolving, always thriving without little help from me.  Whenever we went out she would always make me loo

-August 23, 2017-🌿 That was the date I stopped eating meat.  Surprisingly it wasn't that hard to do as I had more than enough incentive to at least try to make the change.  I am by no means going to tell anybody how to eat or what to do with their life, but the change I made worked for me.  Let's start from about February, 2017.   Courtesy of: worldkidneyday.org  As a nurse on a cardiac step-down unit, I have treated my share of individuals suffering from hypertension , diabetes and heart disease.  In most cases, all preventable by changing ones diet and lifestyle.  Many of my patients were on blood pressure medications and I had a first class seat to the myriad of side effects many of those medications caused.  Kidney failure, swelling of the hands, feet and face to name a few.  Add to that list dehydration, nausea, diarrhea and rebound hypertension.  Rebound hypertension occurs  when someone has been taking blood pressure medication for a time and stops abruptly.  This resul

My brother was about 21 at the time and we were still living in the states.  He had just purchased a pre-owned Cadillac Escalade and trust me, it was sweet!  He would pick me up sometimes and of course I would ride in the front with my chest high.  Jamaican people would say "yuh have pretty car eye" (you love expensive cars).  Proud of my baby brother I was and still am.  On this particular night he and a couple of friends went to a party where he was the designated driver.  On the way back to Philly he dropped a friend off in Chester.  Back then, Chester was not the best area for a Black Man to get stopped.  While waiting at the red light, here comes the officer pulling up behind him.  He took note and made sure he pulled off slowly once the light turned green.  As soon as he was in the intersection, four police cars drew down on him.  Three officers jumped out with guns drawn asking him to exit the vehicle.  That was about 10:00 p.m. Saturday night. Let me stop here and jus

I  think it's safe to say many parents have a hard time having the dreaded "sex talk" with their children or even discussing changes they will face when entering adolescence.  I, on the other hand, made up my mind before I had children that I would talk to them and provide a space for them to ask questions.  In this day and age you can't sugar coat much.  Each generation seems to be growing up faster and becoming more exposed to the adult world at an early age.  With three daughters and one son (the youngest), I have no time to be a timid Mother trying to figure out how to talk to my children about their bodies.  Our conversations started at a very early age.  Being a nurse definitely made and continues to make things easier because I am used to talking about the human body and its various functions in a very clinical way.  I am always mindful however, to take cues from my children in the middle of our conversations to know when I need to switch gears, take a break a

I had a moment with my 10 year old son the other night that was most profound.  It was about 10:30 pm and I was downstairs all alone, taking in the days news.  My son came down to tell me goodnight at the same time the footage of George Floyd's murder flashed across the screen.  I watched him looking at the television and wondered what was going through his mind.  I wondered if the footage and the news that followed registered to him or was he just worried about the next episode of his favourite anime?  Was he disturbed?  Did it scare him?  Was his little mind formulating uncomfortable questions that I had to prepare myself to answer?  Finally he looked at me and asked "Mommy, what were the police thinking?", his shoulders shrugging with that familiar annoyed look on his face when he feels like foolishness is afoot.  I know this look well.  It came across as a rhetorical question however, I responded, "I have absolutely no idea my love, but whatever they were thinkin

   It is important not to become a prisoner of your mistakes.  I have had my share of mistakes and I became withdrawn and even fearful at times to try new things.  Childhood mistakes were met by harsh reprimand and criticism instead of reassuring words and imparted skills in order to understand and learn from those mistakes.  The reproach is what led me to believe that if I didn't achieve perfection, that I was less than in some way.  A failure.  Growing up in a Jamaican household with a strict Mother and impatient father meant mistakes were rarely tolerated.  My brother and I did not have the luxury of two-way discussions when mistakes were made.  With each mistake and each reproach, I became harder on myself than I needed to be.  I became afraid to move beyond my comfort zone and only took on tasks I was sure would lead to success. It was through serious introspection that I realised how many missed opportunities were piling up on my regret list.  The fear of making mistakes (or

STEVE MARABOLI said "It is important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes.  We need to learn from our errors and move on" .  He added that "if people refuse to look in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you've made, if they don't realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go." Mistakes are hard enough to get past on their own, add low self-esteem to the mix and it feels like getting over a mistake is damn near insurmountable and will forever define who we are.  In the book entitled "Self-Esteem" , the authors discuss our response to mistakes as having the potential to be paralyzing .  In other words, we begin to limit ourselves and interactions with others because we become afraid of making mistakes.  We do not allow ourselves to live wholly as we were meant to live.   Before long we end up restricting our interactions for fear of making more mistakes.  Instead of living ou

I have fallen in love with this couple and their family.  Tru-tru-true!  If you know, you know.  I came across their YouTube Channel (Tami Chin Mitchell) a few weeks ago and I absolutely love it!  Wayne Mitchell aka "Wayne Marshall" is one of my favourite Reggae/Dancehall entertainers.  He is married to Tami Chin who is a singer and also a talk radio host on The Edge 105 here in Jamaica.  The title of her show embodies exactly what I see on her YouTube Channel.  She truly does  "Live Out Loud"  .  Nothing I have viewed on this channel is over-produced, fake or contrived.  You can definitely feel the realness of this family.  They are just putting their lives out there and I hope all can enjoy it for the treasure that it is.  In a time where people can be so plastic and an imitation of their true selves, it is refreshing to see a normal family on a social media platform.  One that is chaotic, funny, and loving with all of their HONEST ups and downs.   Tami Chi

Let's discuss Motherhood shall we? While we're at it lets talk about Mothers who hide out in the closet when the baby is crying and the toddler is whining. Let's gossip about the Mother's who let their babies sleep on their bellies in the crib because they stay asleep longer. Or better yet, the Mothers who leave their babies at home to go to work trying to be some big shot career woman. The ones that get me are the ones who wear the same big t-shirt all the time everywhere they go. Do you see how they always pull their hair back in that ponytail? Oh and can't forget the Mothers who give their children cereal for dinner because it's just too much sometimes. Let's talk about them all. Let's embrace them. Give them a hug. At the end of the day, no matter which Mother you identify with you are successful if the house is still standing at the end of the day and all the kids are alive! You'll figure it all out another day. Welcome to my space. I